What I Never Knew I Always Wanted

Alright everyone, so this is going to be another weird assortment of ideas. What inspired this post was two things: Carrie Underwood’s new song “What I Never Knew I Always Wanted” and How I Met Your Mother, which I finished earlier today. Here’s the link to the song so you can listen for yourself, and I can only say that this song is hauntingly beautiful. I’m super excited for Carrie’s new album to drop on Friday, because this album has already shown enormous diversity and beauty. It may be my favorite album to date if the rest of the songs keep it up.

So now that you’ve listened to that, are you in love? There’s nothing about this song that isn’t perfection to me. The music is a slight step away from what Carrie usually does (do you hear the small electronic parts that are pretty subtle?). It’s mellow, it’s slow, it’s melodic, and it’s very intimate. Add in the vocals which are high and low, drawn out, also incredibly intimate, light vibratto, and just a pure and beautiful voice and this song is something special. What really catches my attention is the lyrics. Normally I don’t consider lyrics the be-all-end-all of a song. I tend to look more into the music than I do into words, which is a major reason I listen to pop music with questionable lyrics. Regardless, this song’s lyrics are my favorite thing about it. They’re all about her love for her husband and her son and they drip with devotion. The song is also really relatable, I think, because deep down I don’t think any of us know exactly what we want. We can say we want to get married some day and have kids, but we never consider all that goes into it until it happens. Once it does happen though, it’s like it was meant to be. In the song, especially the baby part, Carrie never knew she would want to stay up in the middle of the night holding her child, but she realizes what a treasure that is. I can hear that love and desire in her voice and that’s what makes the song so magical to me.

It also makes me think about my own life and what I never knew I always wanted. I don’t even know if there is anything I never knew I always wanted. It makes me imagine my future children and holding them. It taps into that love for my children that I haven’t even had yet. Going back to that dream and AP Psychology class, I just want a baby. I’m so excited for when that day comes. And I guess I could say a college life. There was a time when I was thinking that college wasn’t for me and I would go anyway just because that’s the standard route most people take. But now that I’m here, I guess I can’t really imagine doing anything else. The only other options I can think of are travelling the world, working for a year, taking a gap year, vocational school, or the extremely slim chance to win the lottery or “get discovered” to model or act or sing or something like that. I never knew what I wanted, but I think I’ve discovered that college is what I always wanted. Even more than that though is the idea that there’s something out there that I can’t even fathom doing or liking right now, but some day I’ll find I always wanted to do it. Some day I’ll find that hole and fill it with something and I don’t know what it is. It kind of adds a little bit of excitement and mystery to life, don’t you think? Let’s just listen to this song forever and revel in the magic of Carrie’s voice and the beautiful lyrics about baby Isaiah. Dang, it’s just so pretty.

Okay, so now I have to just update everyone and say I did in fact finish How I Met Your Mother and I fell in love with it. It’s up to number four on my list, easily. I don’t know exactly what I want to say about it. I binge watched it super hard. 46 episodes in something like 4 days. That’s kind of ridiculous. But at the same time, I invest so much time in characters that this doesn’t feel so bad. I’ve invested way more in the characters from Buffy. The eighth season was really wonderful, especially the Robin and Barney stuff. The episode where Barney proposes made me almost cry. Then there’s “P.S. I Love You” where Robin Daggers makes an appearance and that’s just hilarious. I had no idea the entirety of season nine was at Barney and Robin’s wedding which is the only time I felt it drug a little bit. I would’ve preferred they spend less time on the wedding and more time on Ted and Tracy dating. I kinda liked how they met in the final episode, but their relationship evolution felt very rushed and scattered through different episodes. I would’ve preferred they make it more chronological. But other than that, I really liked season nine as well. I know lots of people say it went on for too long, but I feel like the only case that’s true in is Ted’s. But he’s not the only character even if it is his story. Robin and Barney needed to develop and Marshall and Lily needed to develop too, and I thought all of that was handled well. Marshall and Lily had their kid and the future ahead of them, Barney and Robin were getting married/trying to find love, and Ted was there too in kind of a slump. Overall, I liked the entire series. We can talk about all the girlfriends Ted had and who we liked most (Victoria aside from the mother), but we all want to talk about the finale don’t we? I was a fan. I thought the ending was very suited to the show and the characters. Even though the mother had so little time on screen with Ted, it was apparent Ted was madly in love with Tracy. Lily saw it immediately when nobody else did. And lets just look at the facts. Who did Ted marry? Who did he live with for eleven years until her untimely death? Who did he have kids with? How long did he wait after Tracy’s death to get back into the field? Tracy, Tracy, Tracy, 6 years. Don’t try to tell me Ted and Tracy weren’t meant for each other. Then he asked his kids if he could ask out Aunt Robin, and what was there response? “Hell yeah! We love Aunt Robin!” To those who think there was a bunch of buildup to the mother only to have her die, I know it all happened in only an episode, maybe a few more throughout season 9, but Ted spent eleven years with one girl without Robin’s interference. You can tell they loved each other and made many great memories in their time together. When Tracy died though, it opened up the door for Ted and Robin, which means everyone got exactly what they wanted. Robin got Ted, Ted got Tracy and Robin and the kids, and Tracy got Ted and the kids. I thought it was a beautiful ending. Everyone was happy. I only wish I got to see more of the mother and Ted’s relationship instead of having it all be implied. But no matter where you stand on the final episode, the entire show was great. Can we agree on that? Now how about on Lily being the best character ever? I just love Alyson Hannigan with all my heart. She’s a spectacular actress and every time she cries I want to cry. I don’t know why, but her watery eyes and frown and shaky voice and sobbing just shreds my soul. Sorry, that’s enough.

But the reason I’m pairing these two subjects together is because they kind of intertwine for all the characters. Barney and Robin’s marriage (even if they did get divorced 😦 sad day), Marvin, Lily and Marshall moving to Italy, Marshall becoming a judge, Ted marrying Tracy, hooking back up with Robin, Lily and Marshall’s second kid and their fight over Italy vs judge, I just look at all those things and see the song in the show. Marshall and Lily are so sweet and adorable the entire time, Barney’s proposal was incredible, etc. I’m kind of lost about what to watch now. I’m thinking The Office since I loved Parks and Rec and lots of people I know say it’s a great show. We’ll see. I also have to watch Orange is the New Black (if I can make it through, it’s really controversial/graphic). And, of course, I have to watch more Buffy and Angel; for fun and for homework.

That’s all I got. Carrie Underwood’s new album Storyteller is out on Friday and I highly encourage you to purchase it because it’s going to be awesome. Also look up her other songs “Heartbeat,” “Renegade Runaway,” and “Smoke Break” if you haven’t already. I’m always open to talking about HIMYM, and let me know about something you never knew you always wanted. Thanks for reading and have a great week.

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