Phantasmal

Phantasmal: 1 : a figment of the imagination or disordered mind. 2 : an apparition of a living or dead person. With those definitions in mind, I move into my post. This is about dreams, but not about whatever science is behind them. I had a dream last night (Thursday night/Friday morning) that was really whacky, but special in a way. Every once in a while, I, and probably some others will have experienced this too, have a dream that alters my entire day, or longer, in one way or another. That can be a really happy dream maybe, or a nightmare. Or maybe, as in my case it’s a dream that isn’t so much happy or bad as it is eye opening. It was pleasurable in the dream, but that doesn’t exactly make a good dream. So before I dive into the dream I had last night, I’ll talk about when I remember it happening before.

So this may have been a vague opening, but maybe it will make more sense with this example. I think it was around the 5th grade, about 7 years ago. I had this friend who I knew decently and liked, but I wouldn’t call him my “best friend.” We played soccer together I think, or maybe it was just the dream, but in the dream I only remember talking to the other soccer players, of which he was one. The weird thing was that every one of them was shirtless except me. Now that is a little strange. But after that, my entire opinion of him was changed. My dream either altered how I viewed him before, or perhaps unveiled subconscious feelings about him I wasn’t aware of. But from that point on, I was very curious about him. He was very shy, and to just sit around with your shirt off was uncharacteristic of him. I suddenly viewed him as this more intriguing person, beyond the fact he was British/German/Belgian. Like, I suddenly wanted to know him so much more. I really can’t tell you how it worked, but I guess the bareness in the dream may have had something to do with wanting him to bear his thoughts or history or whatever? I’m not sure, but that’s just an example. I had a dream and my outlook on the person changed dramatically. Maybe there is somebody who can interpret what that kind of thing means.

As for my dream last night, it was a really odd dream. I wish I could remember exactly who was in it and what happened, but I only remember a few details. I remember sitting on a bed doing some kind of acting, like watching and trying to get people’s attention by being stone silent and still. My acting teacher was there giving me tips on how to attract the people’s attention. Then I remember laying down on the bed, and a friend, who I’ve already told this to, Gretchen was there sitting next to me on the bed. I was aware of a party thing going on nearby. A few feet past the foot of the bed was a door that led almost directly into a modular, where I remember friends being there, just not which ones. Anyway, back to me on the bed. I was talking to Gretchen on the bed. My acting teacher was still there, but I was neither paying attention to him nor he to me. Then there was a different person who I know and I’ve talked to, but I wouldn’t really consider myself friends with him. Acquaintances probably. He’s a Facebook friend of mine, so I guess that means just a little bit.

Anyway, he comes up to the bed laughing and lays down right beside me. Now, it’s a dream, so logic is flawed. I call it with my friends, “flawgic,” or flawed logic. Pretty creative right? So he lays down next to me, and I introduce him to Gretchen. I’m very confused why, but I brushed my index finger on his stomach, and I remember saying a Bible verse that matched his name, but I just looked and his name is a book of the Bible, but I don’t remember the verse, though 11:7 is sticking out to me. His book doesn’t have an 11:7, so I looked up some other verses that have an 11:7 in them, and come from a book starting with “J.” I came up with the following results.

“Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” -Job 11:7
“So Joshua and his whole army came against them suddenly at the Waters of Merom and attacked them.” -Joshua 11:7
“Jephthah said to them, “Didn’t you hate me and drive me from my father’s house? Why do you come to me now, when you’re in trouble?” -Judges 11:7
“From the time I brought your ancestors up from Egypt until today, I warned them again and again, saying, “Obey me.”” -Jeremiah 11:7
“and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”” -John 11:7

I’m looking for a meaning to this dream, particularly the finger brushing, because that isn’t the kind of relationship I have with the guy. Other people maybe, but him no. It wasn’t a sexy brushing, it was more of a friendly, joking kind of brush, like maybe a tickle? I don’t know. I’m really very lost on this dream, but now I think of that guy a lot differently. Like suddenly I have this urge to protect and be friends with him? Like I should get to that relationship and be good friends with him? He’s a few years younger than me, so it’s not like I’ve known him long or will have much time to stick around him, so I am once again a little lost on this. But the worst/most awkward part about it is deciding who to talk to about it or whether I should say anything about it more in depth at all. I know one person I can talk to, if you catch my drift. Regardless, dreams are powerful things and very interesting. I get sort of a rush from just meditating on a good or interesting dream. Like this whacko dream is fascinating to me, and just thinking about the events in that dream is almost mental sustenance. I get pleasure and activity for my brain. But I’m also confused.

If you have anything to share about this kind of experience, I’d like to hear it. Or if you think you can talk to me about it more deeply, I’d also like to do that. Keep dreaming folks. They’re a wonderful and powerful thing.

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