The past few days have taught me more about the importance of honesty than probably any other week in my life. It is a really hard policy to adhere to, because a lot of people are scared of what repercussions their honesty will bring, and of course I am not exempt from this either, but honesty is a policy that I believe if followed wholly and truly, we’d all live happier lives. So today this post will be about honesty in any way I can think of.
About those recent experiences with honesty. The first one was an argument with a friend of mine who I’ve had many issues with before, where I asked of the person to deal with the issues we had, and there was a huge argument with shots fired on both sides. After the dust settled we managed to talk it through more easily, and we are taking steps to resolve our issues, and that can’t be done without complete honesty from all parties. From that experience, I have to say that it was painful but necessary. I would so much rather be ripped apart by an outside force separate from myself, than let me tear myself apart from the inside. The next run in was when doing yard work for an older couple out in the country with other people to raise money for my upcoming mission trip. Three hours of just us gave us a lot of time to talk about stuff (and see a ton of snakes, of which I killed one! Even if it was only a baby snake, I still beheaded it with a garden hoe). We talked about a ton of stuff, which is good to be honest about, but one subject matter that came up was bad friendships. I heard about one girl’s life story with one of her friends and how the friend lied to her and completely stabbed her in the back, and I shared with them my history with one of my friends. Both of them knew who I was talking about because they had briefly met my friend, but I shared my story of my friendship with her, and both of them said I needed to give it up because I didn’t deserve that treatment, especially at the hands of a “friend”. I didn’t like hearing the judgmental words, but I think not saying anything or saying something different would be lying and be even worse. My last run in happened today actually, because I found out I was denied an application on various accounts. I won’t say what for, but to say the least, dishonesty was the root of it all. People had problems with my behavior, actions, or whatever it was and never told me about it, and now I’m the one being punished for it. It’s not intentional to sound bitter about it, because I’m not trying to, but I am deeply sad and upset that I’m suffering the consequences of my own behavior when nobody bothered to tell me my behavior bothered them or was “inappropriate”. The moral of these stories is clearly honesty is the best policy. Who really benefits from being dishonest? Secret agents maybe? The government? Well to my knowledge, none of these high school students are working for the government or the CIA or any of that junk.
All my past posts have been my attempt at being honest with whoever would listen. I’ve spilled more to the internet than I’ve spilled to any one person I think. It’s freeing really. “Those who care don’t matter, those who matter don’t care.” is kind of the rule I live by now, or try to. Whoever wants to read my blog can; it’s their choice. If what I have to say disagrees with their point of view, or offends them somehow, their reaction is on them, not me. I am not aiming to cause waves and disrupt the peace or any of that. My goal is to be honest and to entertain. My post about depression was something that I personally felt I had to write about, to give it up somehow, release it. Naturally, I’m not saying give every dirty secret to your life, but my view is that if you have an opinion of someone and you lead them to believe you feel differently, you’re lying to them. This isn’t a pardon to be rude to all the people you hate, because we should be graceful to people we hate regardless, but if you don’t like someone, don’t make them think you like them. As a friend posted on Facebook, “be careful not to mistake kindness for fondness. You may mean nothing to them – and that’s okay.” I hope this clears that up. It may seem rude to tell someone you don’t like them that much, but are you really doing them any favor by pretending you like them when in secret you despise them? As Grace said in Avatar, “They’re pissing on us without even the courtesy of calling it rain.” Maybe I misinterpret that line, but to me, it means the classic, at least my enemies punch me in the face versus my “friends” who stab me in the back. Its cowardice. Honesty takes courage.
I’m not going to spill all my guts in this post just because its about honesty, but I will say that there are some things I need to get off my chest. If you can’t tell already, I am quite frustrated at people who think its okay to tell lies or keep secrets about other people, as if they have no right to know what you think of them. If people hate my guts, I’d much rather them tell me flat to my face why that is, maybe its something I could fix. At the same time, I don’t want people saying they love me or like me if they don’t. I don’t appreciate their dishonesty, nor the feeling that I’ve been fooled and taken advantage of. To me, that is just cruel, an attempt to seize power from another person. To me though, power lies with those who admit their own faults and move forward attempting to better themselves. Power is vulnerability, and honestly, we’re all vulnerable to something(s), but so many of us put on these facades that we are strong. That is a fake strength. I don’t understand why people have a fear of weakness, we are all weak whether we will admit it or not. I write these words possibly hypocritically. I do 100% believe these words. Do I follow them 100% of the time? No, but it’s something I am working towards. I will not lie here; I AM NOT PERFECT, I DO LIE! That doesn’t subtract from the fact that honesty is good. When I lie, it is BAD, I do NOT condone it. Do I do it? Yeah, I’m an imperfect soul, but that doesn’t mean I can’t strive for perfection. My part lies in doing everything I can to be honest. And so does everybody else’s. Dishonesty can be found in nearly every conflict in history, I’d be willing to bet money on it. Somewhere, someone was dishonest and that’s why people fight. If people were completely honest to each other, I really think conflict would go down and problems would be solved, IF people could take the honesty with a grain of salt and not hold grudges for it.
I’m not sure if there is really anything left for me to say on the subject. I feel as though I’ve made my point, and my wish is for people to disregard my feelings in exchange for honesty. I really want for people to talk to me about what they think about me. It makes things so much easier, and doing so at the very least earns my respect.