The Eurovision 2024 Grand Finale just aired last night and after a long, controversial, and tumultuous run, we have a winner: Switzerland! Nemo broke the code with their song “The Code” and claimed the trophy, giving Switzerland its third win and first in 36 years since Celine Dion in 1988 with “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi.” There is so much to talk about with this Grand Final, and while I’d love to talk about the songs that didn’t make it to the Grand Final, I’m going to focus only on the finalists. I am also going to do my best to be impartial to the controversies surrounding this contest, though I will address them and give my thoughts on them where appropriate. I would also like to add that, overall, I thought the performances of the Grand Final were superb and for most of the contestants, their performances here were the best I’ve seen of them ever. For that reason, all the contestants deserve a huge amount of recognition for their artistic and personal achievement, regardless of their rankings in the contest or in this list. Without further ado, let’s look at my last place for the Grand Final.
26. Latvia – Dons’ “Hollow” – Actual Ranking: 16 (Public: 28, Jury: 36, Total: 64)
This is easily my least favorite of the qualifiers. I had it in my bottom five of the year and somehow it made it into the final. Dons has a good voice and I can see how people would be convinced by the voice alone, but the package he offered, for me, was nothing. The melody of the song made me feel nothing and the lyrics don’t stir any emotion in me, at least not to this melody. The staging for this was as bland as bland can be and had nothing memorable. This song was carried by its performer, which is fair enough, but unfortunately, when everyone else is bringing their A-game, the total package is sorely lacking for me. At least he managed to break Latvia’s 6-year non-qualification streak, so Latvia can be proud of that. 16th is also a respectable placing.
25. Armenia – Ladaniva’s “Jako” – Actual Ranking: 8 (Public: 82, Jury: 101, Total: 183)
For me, this song lacks structure. It makes me think of a group of traveling musicians who just dance around a campfire singing about nothing and vocalizing. Outside of that space, this song does nothing for me. I don’t feel any deep connection to the lyrics “la la la lai la la la lai la la lai” over and over again. Some may find this song fun, and if there were more lyrics to it, I might be more inclined to see the fun in it rather than the annoyingness of it. However, the lead singer does vocalize very well in certain parts and the traditional elements add a unique flavor to this that raise it above Latvia for me. At least Armenia has a vision here and an identity, and that I can respect even though it’s not for me.
24. Cyprus – Silia Kapsis’ “Liar” – Actual Ranking: 15 (Public: 44, Jury: 34, Total: 78)
“Liar” is the first of the songs I would say I generally enjoy. It’s a classic, upbeat girl-bop with a decently catchy chorus and good choreography. Her vocals here were decent, but the song doesn’t lend itself to any vocal acrobatics or impressive moments. The real standout here is the choreography, but unfortunately the choreography isn’t enough to save this average song. As far as dancing goes, though, I have seen much better dancing in other Eurovision songs. I feel as though the rest of the songs I’ve placed above this one have something that makes them stand out or does something “Liar” does, but better. This isn’t a bad package, but when so many other artists are bringing great packages to the table, this one naturally filters down to the bottom.
23. Finland – Windows95man’s “No Rules!” – Actual Ranking: 19 (Public: 31, Jury: 7, Total: 38)
This song is catchy, and I do generally enjoy this song, but the gimmick gets a little old for me. I think it’s trying just a bit too hard to be funny and wacky just for the sake of being weird. There’s nothing wrong with fun, and I can have fun with this song, but I have a lot more fun with other songs that don’t feel so artificial. The song is tacky, and that’s the appeal to some people, but this is more of a once-in-a-while song rather than one I return to. The performance is also very “Dumb and Dumber” in my head; the humor is low-branch humor that only succeeds in getting laughs (somewhat in pity and confusion) rather than genuine comedy. Still, the chorus is catchy and the performance is memorable, so I can’t say I’ll forget it anytime soon.
22. Greece – Marina Satti’s “Zari” – Actual Ranking: 11 (Public: 85, Jury: 41, Total: 126)
I’ve always struggled with this song because it has a unique structure. The opening lyrics sound like Bollywood singing, the main hook of the song is deep, breathy “Da! Da! Da! Da!” vocalizations, and it doesn’t have a whole lot of singing. I find some of the instrumentation a bit irritating at times as well. It clearly has an ethnic identity and I don’t know the lyrics or background of the song, but truthfully after hearing it I don’t particularly care to find out. It feels a bit like a Frankenstein of a song, and not in a good way like a song further up the list. The performance was well-done, but I don’t love the use of a camera filter to make it look like a Tik Tok live stream. The single-take idea is fun and the choreography works well, but it’s not a song I can 100% get behind. I would be lying though if I said I didn’t walk away afterwards going “Da! Da! Da! Da!”
21. Israel – Eden Golan’s “Hurricane” – Actual Ranking: 5 (Public: 323, Jury: 52, Total: 375)
Here comes all the controversy. Everything about this song has been controversial from the very beginning. I don’t think there was a clean answer about what to do with Israel in this contest because people would’ve been protesting the European Broadcasting Union’s (EBU) decision no matter what. Regardless, Israel was allowed to compete to the dismay of many. As a result, many fans, delegations, and artists voiced their displeasure in this decision. During each performance, Golan was heavily booed by the fans in the arena and likely by those at home as well. Others still vehemently defended her. I don’t want to use this space to give a lengthy analysis of the situation in Israel and Gaza, but what I will say is I find it disappointing that Golan has to be the recipient of so much hate as a result. Anger towards Israel’s genocide is completely valid, but I don’t think a 20-year-old woman bears the responsibility for it. I wish we could be civil about it and I’m greatly fatigued by hearing the discourse from both camps. I’m sorry if you feel differently, and you have the right to, but it’s just my opinion, and my opinion on it is of no importance at the end of the day.
To me, the song is pretty but unoriginal. The standout for me here is Golan’s voice. The song went through many rewrites to comply with EBU rules, which made its subject matter, the October 7th massacre, virtually non-existent. I understand why that had to be, but the result is a pretty lyrically uninteresting song sung by a great vocalist. That’s not altogether too different from Latvia. What this has over Latvia, in my opinion, is a stronger vocalist and a better melody. There are also dancers present which at least give the viewer something to look at. The final result of this entry is entirely thanks to the politics surrounding the entry and I’m thankful it didn’t win because I don’t like political winners (looking at you, Ukraine 2022). I also just don’t think this song is anywhere near strong enough to contend for the win, so 5th seems entirely unearned. I would be remiss though to put it at the bottom because of the politics surrounding it because, in all honesty, I do enjoy the song just enough to put it above some other entries. That’s my take and it’s the most honest one I can give without writing a novel.
20. Portugal – Iolanda’s “Grito” – Actual Ranking: 10 (Public: 13, Jury: 139, Total: 152)
This song is actually quite beautiful and it has a slow-burn build to it. The melody is stronger than other ballads so far and Iolanda has some of the best vocals in the competition, there are just a lot of great vocalists to compete with. As far as ballads go, I find this one less interesting than many above it, but the entirely black/white color palette with the dancers crowding Iolanda create a very dramatic atmosphere that does work for me in the end. If I had a critique, I would say that it lacks something to hook onto, which other ballads have, and it takes too long to get to the payoff. The slow build-up combined with the lack of hook keeps me from fully investing in it.
19. Germany – Isaak’s “Always On The Run” – Actual Ranking: 12 (Public: 18, Jury: 99, Total: 117)
Isaak is the main selling point of this song. His gravelly, raspy voice turns a repetitive, radio-friendly song into something more. Finally, Germany breaks out of the bottom five for the first time since 2018 and second time since 2014. Germany has had a really unfortunate track record in the last decade and I’m really happy Isaak could break it when Lord of the Lost couldn’t last year. The staging was a little plain, but it at least painted a picture and gave a setting to the song. Isaak’s emotion in the performance certainly shines through in a way that worked a lot better for me (and juries) than Latvia’s entry did. The repetitiveness of this song really drags the song down because the melody and Imagine Dragons-esque rockiness actually really work for me. It may not be the best song of the year and it’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s a solid enough track to fill out a playlist.
18. United Kingdom – Olly Alexander’s “Dizzy” – Actual Ranking: 18 (Public: 0, Jury: 46, Total: 46)
Even though the public didn’t go for this, apparently at all, the song is not bad. It was a little funny though hearing them receive no points from the public. Hopes were raised for nothing. It’s a sickeningly catchy song and the staging was super interesting, but for me there were some glaring issues both in the song and performance. First, the song lacks any build. Once you’ve heard the first chorus, it doesn’t really go anywhere new, which ironically fits perfectly into the dizziness motif. The second issue was with Olly’s vocals. I’ve heard from many sources online that Olly has performed the song well vocally at many rehearsals and events, but on the night of the Grand Final, they weren’t enough. He sounded pitchy at times and the final high note sounded alright, but wasn’t near impressive enough to save the song. The only other thing I didn’t like had to do with the groin guard Olly was wearing, which I found to be quite ugly. It’s a small thing, but something nonetheless. He definitely gets points though for writing a catchy song with very cool staging ideas. It’s also continuing a trend of massive elevation for the U.K. since 2022. Sam Ryder and Mae Muller were both strong entries, even though all three of them have very different placements. Hopefully, the U.K. delegation will continue to select quality artists with good staging.
17. Austria – Kaleen’s “We Will Rave” – Actual Ranking: 24 (Public: 5, Jury: 19, Total 24)
This song unfortunately absolutely deserves 24th place based solely on the vocals. Kaleen was quite clearly the weakest vocalist in the final, but the song is just so good that I enjoy it regardless. She sounded good enough in the final to not be totally off-putting, and they were stronger here than they were in the semi-final, but that’s hardly a strong compliment. Her dancing was good, but altogether a bit of a let-down compared to the promise of the song. I am super glad it qualified because it made a great song to end the final, but I can’t in good conscience put her any higher. It’s a top-10 song overall for me, but other artists with weaker songs performed much better than her.
16. Georgia – Nutsa Buzaladze’s “Firefighter” – Actual Ranking: 21 (Public: 19, Jury: 15, Total: 34)
As a song, I don’t vibe with this that much. The music isn’t really that great, the melody isn’t gripping, and the lyrics suffer from the Georgian writers in having painfully trite and likely poorly translated English lyrics. What pushes her so far up the list for me is her vocal prowess and choreography abilities. I think, with a better song, Nutsa could be like another version of Chanel if given the chance. As it stands though, “Firefighter” is a very weak package that I don’t listen to on my own, but the Grand Final performance was enough to convince me to put her over many other songs I would rather listen to. It’s also really nice to see Georgia qualify again for the first time since 2016, also ending a 6-year non-qualification streak.
15. Luxembourg – Tali’s “Fighter” – Actual Ranking: 13 (Public: 20, Jury: 83, Total: 103)
It was Luxembourg’s first time back in the contest in 31 years and they came back decently strong. The song doesn’t have anything truly unique about it, the staging isn’t entirely unique, and Tali doesn’t have anything particularly memorable about her as a performer. So what does this have? Just a quality recipe. The song is in French and English, which makes it slightly more interesting, but it has a couple fun hooks to sing along to, the choreography is good but not great, the visual effects are acceptable but don’t add too much, and Tali performs well but maybe not entirely memorably. At the end of the day, this is just an all-around decent song without anything really to complain about. Hopefully, this song finishing in the top half (technically) inspires Luxembourg to return and branch out into a new and exciting identity.
14. Spain – Nebulossa’s “Zorra” – Actual Ranking: 22 (Public: 11, Jury: 19, Total: 30)
I understand why this song got bottom five purely from a “scientific” view, seeing as it’s not one of the heavy televote favorites and the lead singer’s vocals don’t convince many juries, but this song doesn’t deserve it. It’s an intensely charming and cheeky disco track that is really easy to sing along to. The lead singer was the oldest contestant this year at 56, but she still serves sass and attitude, very much in line with the message of the song. There isn’t a lot to say about this outside of how it puts most everyone who hears it into a good mood, but it didn’t have enough oomph to convince a lot of people to vote for it.
13. Sweden – Marcus and Martinus’ “Unforgettable” – Actual Ranking: 9 (Public: 49, Jury: 125, Total: 174)
The staging of this performance is easily top five, but the song is painfully average. The production is top-notch, as it always is from Sweden, but the lyrics are very shallow and soulless. What keeps this song interesting is the visual package and bass line. Marcus and Martinus perform well and their voices are fine, but nothing spectacular or revolutionary to see here. Done by any other country, this song wouldn’t be nearly as good, which is a testament to how good Sweden is in Eurovision, but for Sweden, this is among the less-interesting offerings.
12. Slovenia – Raiven’s “Veronika” – Actual Ranking: 23 (Public: 12, Jury: 15, Total: 27)
A lot of people don’t understand this song. It doesn’t follow the same formula as a lot of other songs and a lot of what I find really interesting about this song is the underlying rhythms and vocalizations. It sounds tribal and witchy and really matches the movements Raiven does on stage, which is not quite contortion, but somewhat close, maybe like Exorcist101. I find the instrumentation really dramatic and epic as well. Raiven’s voice is very soft and delicate at times but comes with a power when it needs to. Her whistle notes, or really high head voice (not that I can tell the difference), are super impressive and in the final she nailed the performance. Her charisma with the camera is also super impactful and keeps the viewer enthralled. What keeps this song down is strong competition and the lack of more intense imagery in the performance. The song is about the first woman killed for witchcraft in Slovenia and she was killed be drowning. I would’ve loved more witch or water imagery to go with that motif. It’s there a little bit, but I think the song could’ve benefitted from more.
11. Serbia – Teya Dora’s “Ramonda” – Actual Ranking: 17 (Public: 32, Jury: 22, Total: 54)
In the battle of ballads, “Ramonda” is my favorite female one. The most obvious comparison to draw here is to Portugal as the songs are both ballads sung by women and progress similarly. What I like more about “Ramonda” are the vocals and the sing-ability. Whereas Iolanda sounds quite resilient and powerful, Teya Dora sounds quite vulnerable and gentle. That vocal style suits my taste just a little bit more. The progression is also a bit more dynamic in my opinion. I can sing along with “Lila Ramonda” a lot easier and it packs more of a punch earlier in the song. It has hills and valleys were “Grito” is a steady climb. I also enjoy the imagery in Serbia’s performance a bit more. Why doesn’t it crack my top 10? There are just more exciting songs that I want to listen to more and who have something more to offer.
10. The Netherlands – Joost Klein’s “Europapa” – Actual Ranking: Disqualified
Here’s the other big controversy that developed before the final. There was an altercation that led to Joost’s disqualification the day before the Grand Final. As this song was expected to win the televote or at least take a massive chunk of it, the disqualification shook up the contest a bunch as far as the results were concerned. Worse, it came at a time when tensions with Israel were at a boiling point. For a while, it wasn’t certain if there would be another Eurovision. There’s still a lot of questions about the situation and how everything will progress in the coming year, but it’s safe to say the EBU has a tough road ahead.
So about “Europapa…” I was actually quite let down with his performance. I love the song and Joost’s energy, but in the live performance of the second semi-final, I thought he was making a lot of weird choices. His graphics were kind of ugly, he wasn’t moving much, he would stop singing at weird points to let the audience sing, and his voice wasn’t all that good. It isn’t a song that demands great vocals, but it still remains unpleasant for me to hear a song I like not performed very well. Similar to Austria, I can’t put him higher than this for those reasons. The love I have for the song, the dance bit, and the tender ending are all redeeming qualities that keep it solidly in my top 10, even though it was pretty sketchily disqualified.
9. Estonia – 5MIINUST x Puuluup’s “(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (kĆ¼ll) midagi” – Actual Ranking: 20 (Public: 33, Jury: 4, Total: 37)
This song has actually always been in my top songs, over even “Europapa.” It’s in the same vein as Finland and The Netherlands, but there is a joviality here that doesn’t feel forced. It feels fun. The song is super catchy, I love the traditional instrument being used, I love the deep-voiced singer, and I love how there’s conflict on the stage. Plus, the easily learnable dance is iconic. This has so much energy and although it’s a little harder to sing along to, it’s easier for me to vibe with than the other songs like this. Starting the performance in the audience is also really fun, though the staging itself isn’t all that innovative.
8. Norway – GĆ„te’s “Ulveham” – Actual Ranking: 25 (Public: 4, Jury: 12, Total: 16)
It’s tragic that this got last place as it absolutely does not deserve it. Like last year’s Lord of the Lost, I think its thunder got stolen by other songs. The vocals were insane, it was in Norwegian, the folk-rock genre is seldom heard at Eurovision, and the stage looked gorgeous. The biggest problem this song had was strong competition and not really being the best at anything which meant it was never a song the juries or televoters were picking as the best, even if most people might agree it wasn’t the worst. Regardless of the result, I hope Norway is still proud of this entry because I am as well.
7. Lithuania – Silvester Belt’s “Luktelk” – Actual Ranking: 14 (Public: 58, Jury: 32, Total: 90)
This was another song that wanted a piece of the televote pie but just couldn’t squeeze through the other juggernauts this year. The song is super catchy and has a really cool dance vibe, but it’s a more chill dance vibe than the others. The televote was very heavily distributed to the top three countries so there was little left to give to the others. The light show was great and the color palette gave it a really cool vibe. Although not a terribly vocally demanding song, Silvester sounded good and delivered a great performance. It just got outclassed by other songs in most ways.
6. Italy – Angelina Mango’s “La Noia” – Actual Ranking: 7 (Public: 104, Jury: 164, Total: 268)
As always, Angelina sounded great and I actually really liked the aesthetic of the thorns and roses. A lot of people said they like her more spontaneous attitude on stage, which I get, but for me it didn’t make a big difference whether the movement was planned or not, so long as it looked and sounded good. She has an effortlessness about her that is really refreshing to listen to and watch. The song here is very catchy, mixes a lot of different sounds together and even has a bit of rap to it. The song has steadily grown on me throughout the season, but these top 6 for me are all so clearly excellent that it becomes much more a matter of taste than who was technically better. In the battle of the 6 titans, Angelina felt the weakest of the bunch.
5. Ukraine – Alyona Alyona & Jerry Heil’s “Teresa & Maria” – Actual Ranking: 3 (Public: 307, Jury: 146, Total: 453)
The staging of this song elevates it so much. As a song, I have it around my 12th place, but there’s something so moving in the story of this song. All the visuals are gorgeous, the props are meaningful, the interactions between the two artists are frequent and powerful, even the rap section is good. Jerry Heil sounds incredible and has an ethereal wailing to her voice. The outfits look incredible. It’s riddled with political imagery, like armor and phosphorous bombs, but it feels tasteful and not too in-your-face. The lyrics are clearly pointed, but general enough to be about more than the war. Either way, this is a gorgeous package that not many people were expecting to sweep up so much televote, but it did. And I can’t say I blame people. It’s not higher for me because rap isn’t my genre in general and the songs above this just make me more excited.
4. France – Slimane’s “Mon Amour” – Actual Ranking: 4 (Public: 227, Jury: 218, Total: 445)
This sat at my top spot for half the season and then it became my number two after a while. Slimane’s voice is truly the selling point here. Not only is it powerful, it has a warmth and softness to it that when performing live, I can’t help but melt into the words. In the Grand Final, he shot almost the entire performance in one camera shot (and didn’t make it a big deal like Greece did). What got him the gigantic televote was his gimmick, which was singing the last chorus a capella. For one man to go on stage in front of 200 million people worldwide, in front of 15,000 in an arena and belt out a song flawlessly with no music and standing two meters away from a microphone… it’s nothing short of legendary. He is hands down the best vocalist in the competition, though competition really is tight. I was beyond thrilled with this performance and would’ve given it votes if I hadn’t given so many to the other three just above him.
3. Croatia – Baby Lasagna’s “Rim Tim Tagi Dim” – Actual Ranking: 2 (Public: 337, Jury: 210, Total: 547)
This was the fan favorite to win the contest and it won the televote. It did not, however, win the contest, to many fans’ dismay. I love this song. It has great lyrics about an interesting topic, it has funny lyrics, it has a great “dance break” if you can call it that, it’s super catchy and easy to sing along to, and most importantly of all, it has the winning story. Baby Lasagna wasn’t even supposed to be in Croatia’s selection for Eurovision; he only went because someone else dropped out. Then he swept the contest and went to Eurovision where he ended up winning the televote. The song is about leaving home in search of work elsewhere and becoming nobody back in your home town, but its packaged in a super catchy rock song with vague traditional elements. Baby Lasagna is really the biggest sweetheart and improved so much as the competition went on and if he won, it would’ve been Croatia’s first ever win, which would’ve been so beautiful for him. 2nd place is no laughing matter and he can be super proud of what he did. I gave him 3/20 votes. The way the community rallied around him was also really beautiful and it was fun to watch his performance where everyone was singing so loudly and dancing along with him in the arena. I am bummed for him, but I am still satisfied with the winner.
2. Ireland – Bambie Thug’s “Doomsday Blue” – Actual Ranking: 6 (Public: 136, Jury: 142, Total: 278)
For me this was hand’s down the best performance of the year and one of the best of all time. I have never seen anything like it on the Eurovision stage. It was a full-blown horror movie in 3 minutes and every single element of the performance was perfected. The styling in the makeup and costumes was impeccable, the ballet choreography was gorgeous, the way Bambie moved their body throughout, the camera cuts and camera angles were perfect and utilized verticality in a way not many other performances did, the LED backgrounds and on the floor perfectly encapsulated the setting and looked like smoke was feeding into the pentagram, lighting up the candles, the three phases of the song with the demon, and most of all the vocals. Although not particularly pretty, they were scary, and that was what the song needed. Bambie screamed perfectly and gave little “yips” and screeches that occurred in time with their movements. Even the more sing-y parts were nice, it wasn’t all screaming, though the screaming was the best part. I love what this song represents in every facet. Bambie is a non-binary artist and incorporated a trans flag into their outfit. It was the first time Ireland qualified for the final since 2018 and second time since 2014. Not only did it qualify, it swept into the top 10 with a vengeance and under different circumstances could’ve entered the top 5. The slogan of “Crown the Witch” was iconic. It pushed the boundaries of Eurovision and gave permission for more in the future, especially since it was so successful. Irish fans should be ecstatic about this. It was my favorite performance quite easily and I will watch it over and over again. I gave Bambie 5/20 votes. But only one thing is better.
1) Switzerland – Nemo’s “The Code” Actual Ranking: 1 (Public: 226, Jury: 365, Total: 591)
This has been my number one for the last couple of months, dethroning Slimane. That’s the only reason it beat Bambie Thug. Nemo brought a complete package to Eurovision and I couldn’t be happier with the winner. Nemo’s vocals were consistently flawless despite a stage show that included running around, sliding, spinning, jumping, and lying down. It was technically a marvel to watch how they interacted with their prop and their high notes were simply gorgeous. I love how the song incorporates, pop, opera, rap, and orchestral music all into one. The lighting was also super effective at different parts of the performance. The song’s lyrics are about Nemo finding their identity as a non-binary person and learning to be happy there. To my knowledge, this is the first time a non-binary person has won Eurovision, although a transgender woman has won before. Those aren’t intrinsically the same, but they have a small bit of overlap. I know some people are sick of jury winners winning the whole contest, but I keep saying that it isn’t as though these jury winners aren’t also doing super well in the televote. I love “Rim Tim Tagi Dim,” but “The Code” just screams winner to me and I’m super pumped that it won. I gave Nemo 12/20 votes, and apparently, they were well-placed.
Those were my thoughts about the Eurovision Song Contest Grand Finale 2024. What did you think of it all? If you haven’t seen those performances, click on the links in the titles of the songs to give them a look and let me know who your favorites are. I’ll see you all in Switzerland next year for Eurovision 2025!
Unabashed Me 